Hitting babies

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Hitting babies

Share your stories to help those caring for babies and toddlers. Parenting Resource. Help your child learn to manage strong emotions and reactions as they become aware of themselves as separate individuals from their parents and the other important people in their world. The period between 18 months and 3 years is an exciting time. Toddlers are becoming aware that they are separate individuals from their parents and the other important people in their world.

This means that they are eager to assert themselves, communicate their likes and dislikes, and act independently as much as they can! At the same time, they still have limited self-control and are just beginning to learn important skills like waiting, sharing and turn-taking. Sherman, aged 2, grabbed the red bucket and began shoveling sand into it. My bucket! Jojo follows Sherman, pushes him, grabs the bucket, and returns to the sandbox.

When Sherman approaches the sandbox once more, Jojo carefully guards his bucket, wrapping his arm around it and watching Sherman closely. Please get it for me. With your support and guidance, your child will learn to manage her strong emotions and reactions over the next months and years.

Like most aspects of development, there is a wide variation among children when it comes to acting out aggressively. Big reactors rely more heavily on using their actions to communicate their strong feelings. As parents, one of your most important jobs is to help your toddler understand and communicate her feelings in acceptable, nonaggressive ways. This is no small task.

Helping Children with Aggression

It requires a lot of time and patience. But with your support and guidance, your child will learn to manage her strong emotions and reactions over the next months and years. No two children or families are alike. Thinking about the following questions can help you adapt and apply the information and strategies below to your unique child and family:. Lacey, aged 11 months, wants a bite of the cookie her mother is eating. Lacey kicks her feet, waves her arms, and makes lots of sounds.

But her mother just gives her another spoonful of squash. Squash on the wall! Lacey bangs her hands on the high chair and starts to cry. One of the greatest challenges in dealing with aggressive behavior is that it can feel very hurtful to parents, both emotionally and physically.

However, babies do not mean to hurt or upset their loved ones.There is a classic story about the mother who believed in spanking as a necessary part of discipline until one day she observed her three- year-old daughter hitting her one-year-old son. Children love to imitate, especially people whom they love and respect.

The same discipline techniques you employ with your children are the ones they are most likely to carry on in their own parenting. The family is a training camp for teaching children how to handle conflicts. Studies show that children from spanking families are more likely to use aggression to handle conflicts when they become adults. Children learn that when you have a problem you solve it with a good swat.

A child whose behavior is controlled by spanking is likely to carry on this mode of interaction into other relationships with siblings and peers, and eventually a spouse and offspring.

10 Reasons Not to Hit Your Child

Most of the time I show him lots of love and gentleness. You may have a hug-hit ratio of in your home, but you run the risk of your child remembering and being influenced more by the one hit than the hugs, especially if that hit was delivered in anger or unjustly, which happens all too often. Spanking sabotages this teaching. Spanking guidelines usually give the warning to never spank in anger. Tongue-lashing and name-calling tirades can actually harm a child more psychologically.

Emotional abuse can be very subtle and even self-righteous. Threats to coerce a child to cooperate can touch on his worst fear—abandonment. Scars on the mind may last longer than scars on the body. The child is likely to feel the hit, inside and out, long after the hug. Most children put in this situation will hug to ask for mercy. Joan, a loving mother, sincerely believed that spanking was a parental right and obligation needed to turn out an obedient child.

She would notice him playing alone in the corner, not interested in playmates, and avoiding eye contact with her.

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He had lost his previous sparkle. Spanking made him feel smaller and weaker, overpowered by people bigger than him. Many parents do it without thinking, but consider the consequences. Slapping them sends a powerful negative message.

hitting babies

Sensitive parents we have interviewed all agree that the hands should be off-limits for physical punishment.

Research supports this idea.

hitting babies

Psychologists studied a group of sixteen fourteen-month-olds playing with their mothers. When one group of toddlers tried to grab a forbidden object, they received a slap on the hand; the other group of toddlers did not receive physical punishment. In follow-up studies of these children seven months later, the punished babies were found to be less skilled at exploring their environment. Better to separate the child from the object or supervise his exploration and leave little hands unhurt.

Spanking also devalues the role of a parent. Being an authority figure means you are trusted and respected, but not feared. Lasting authority cannot be based on fear.

Parents or other caregivers who repeatedly use spanking to control children enter into a lose-lose situation. Not only does the child lose respect for the parent, but the parents also lose out because they develop a spanking mindset and have fewer alternatives to spanking. The parent has fewer preplanned, experience-tested strategies to divert potential behavior, so the child misbehaves more, which calls for more spanking. This child is not being taught to develop inner control.

Hitting devalues the parent-child relationship. Corporal punishment puts a distance between the spanker and the spankee. This distance is especially troubling in home situations where the parent-child relationship may already be strained, such as single-parent homes or blended families. Punishment escalates.The injury might be from a violent blow, a fall, or a severe shaking.

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A child with a concussion may lose consciousness or have problems with his vision, memory, or balance. This sounds scary, but in most cases the effects are minor and temporary and the child recovers completely. If your baby hits his head and starts breathing irregularly, has convulsions, or is unconscious, call for immediate help. Don't move him unless he's in danger of being hurt further. Perform CPR if he isn't breathing, and if he's bleedingcover the wound with a clean cloth and apply pressure.

It's common for babies to hit their heads when they fall, and in most cases there's nothing to worry about.

Aggressive Behavior in Toddlers

If your baby loses consciousness, though, have him checked out by his doctor or by the doctor at the emergency room. Sometimes, even with a minor blow, the brain can be injured. Also take your baby to a doctor right away if he hits his head and in the next day or two he:. Only in rare cases. But a second concussion before symptoms from the first one have cleared can be dangerous, possibly causing brain damage and even death.

So if your baby has suffered a concussion that caused him to lose consciousness, your doctor will probably advise you to keep an extra-watchful eye on him for the next few weeks.

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The best thing you can do is to childproof your home. Also make sure your child is always safely buckled into his safety seat in the car. Injury prevention and control: Traumatic brain injury and concussion. Centers for Disease Control and Prevention. Head injury — first aid. Join now to personalize.

Photo credit: Thinkstock. By Dana Dubinsky. Medically reviewed by Nancy Showen, M. What's a concussion? My baby fell and hit his head.

hitting babies

How can I tell if he has a concussion? When should I call ?A prompt cry after the injury is reassuring. The following is a list of signals that tell you that you need to talk with your pediatrician after your child hits his head.

If any of these symptoms or situations are present or if you have any concerns, call your physician right away. Your child may be fine, but you should be in touch with an expert. Call and wait for emergency help to arrive.

If none of these symptoms are present, it is fine to let your child sleep, as long as you wake her every half hour for the first six hours after the fall. After this, awaken her at your bedtime and again four hours later to check on her status.

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If at any time your child seems to develop a suspicious symptom, call your doctor immediately. Did the information in this article help to answer your questions? What else could we include here to help other parents who are wondering if they should call a doctor after their child has hit their head? Note: Dr. Greene has provided the above information for parents and caregivers after a child has hit their head.

Doctors use these guidelines as the basis for determining if a child needs to be further evaluated. Because they are general in nature, readers often have specific follow-up questions. Unfortunately, Dr. Greene can not provide individualized diagnosis or treatment suggestions. It is my belief that mesothelioma is usually the most dangerous cancer. It contains unusual features. The more I really look at it a lot more I am persuaded it does not conduct itself like a true solid tissues cancer.

If perhaps mesothelioma is usually a rogue viral infection, in that case there is the possibility of developing a vaccine plus offering vaccination for asbestos open people who are at high risk involving developing upcoming asbestos associated malignancies. Thanks for giving your ideas about this important health issue.

Hie Dr Greene,my 2 yr old daughter fell from the bed and hurt her forehead above the Right eye and got a huge bump. He refused for a skull xray to be done and said its not necessary. Please advice me on what to do. We have provided the above information for parents and caregivers after a child has hit their head. Because they are general in nature, you may have specific follow-up questions. If you are not satisfied with the answer you receive, it is appropriate to see another doctor for a second opinion.

Greene and I am not a doctor. Please keep that in mind when reading my comments and replies.I just read your article "Positive Discipline" and have to completely disagree.

And I'll explain why. For instance, you say, "As a result, kids who are physically disciplined are not only more likely to repeat problem behavior than other kids, but are more likely to exhibit increasingly worse behavior, including deception. Yet he routinely hits, kicks, knocks his brothers over and worse.

With all the the praise and positive reinforcement, you'd think this kid would be begging to be good but at least once a day, he acts in a manner he knows is going to hurt someone else.

He could've sustained very serious injury. However, his choice is 3 in your list--He knows but doesn't care. He comes from a good home with two very stable parents who love him, give him plenty of attention and one-on-one time. But he wants more. But at some point, a child has to learn that they can't always get what they want, when they want it, but that doesn't mean their parents don't love them. I can't tell you how many times they have lovingly and gently taken this little boy on their lap to talk about how we are supposed to treat our family members with love etc.

And I could not imagine saying, "Now Beth, the real problem is your "relationship" with Madison. You need to "repair" it. What I see is a mom who puts more energy into a relationship with her firstborn than seems humanly possible and still has a child who acts in a manner never even witnessed in the house or any place else.

The kids he plays with are well-mannered. What many people are actually describing when they speak of spanking in negative terms, is a parent who has lost control and strikes out in anger, out of exasperation. Some people also mistakenly spank for age-appropriate behavior. They expect too much from one who is still learning. That being said, a child who blatantly disrespects his parent's authority while young, will be unmanageable when a teen.

To compensate for the total lack of guidance earlier, many parents will then try to stifle all freedom at an age when they should be giving their child more freedom. This only creates a deeper wedge in the already damaged relationship.Your child's sudden hitting and biting may leave you wondering what happened to your little angel.

We can help. Few things can make you second-guess your skills as a parent more than seeing your toddler whack another kid at a playdate or feeling him sink his teeth into your arm in a crowded checkout line.

But as mortifying as these bad behaviors are, they aren't your fault, and they don't mean your child will grow up to be a bully. The way you react to your child's lashing out is the key to nipping it in the bud. Get down on his level, look him in the eye, and say in a calm, stern voice, "No hitting. Hitting hurts. But don't wait until the problem intensifies to the point of a physical outburst before stepping in.

Pretty much every toddler on the planet bites and hits for the same reasons, and once you know what to look for, you can steer your child away from aggressive behavior and help him share his feelings in more positive, peaceful ways. Check out four common triggers. Ever since your kid was an infant, she's probably enjoyed putting anything she could get her hands on in her mouth. This is one of the ways babies learn about their environment, and it doesn't suddenly change once she has her first birthday.

Look at her and in a firm, gentle voice say, "No. It won't take long for her to realize that biting interrupts her mealtime. Your toddler takes her cues from you when it comes to interacting, so be a good role model. Avoid play biting, such as nibbling on her fingers or lightly chomping down on her arm. This sends a mixed message, and she may mimic these actions with other kids. You've probably noticed that your child hits and bites more often on the playground or at a playdate than at any other time.

The reason? He's surrounded by a bunch of kids who grab his toys, push him down, or simply invade his space -- and they don't necessarily listen when he tells them "Stop! You can also ease tension by introducing another toy or game. If they're fighting over a toy, give it a minute to see whether they can resolve the conflict on their own. But when it looks like it's going to escalate into hitting or biting, say: "If you can't take turns, I have to take the truck away. By making him give it back, you're letting him know that being rough won't get him what he wants.

Like everyone else, 1-year-olds get bored, hungry, tired, and overwhelmed. The difference is they lack the verbal skills to communicate these emotions, which can make them even more frustrated.

Or does she want a snack? Help her put words to her gestures. If she slaps at the sippy cup of juice because it's not what she wants, for example, respond, "You want milk! Say, 'milk. Before long, she'll learn that speaking is a much more effective way of getting her needs met than aggressive behavior.

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When your toddler has an off day, he may simply lash out because he's cranky and doesn't have many coping skills. If he hits when he's tired, have him take a nap at least an hour before a playdate, and put him to bed at the same time each night. Or if he bites when he's hungry, stick to a regular meal schedule and take snacks with you to the playground or on errands.

When you notice his frustration level is rising for instance, he can't get his favorite train to stay on the trackoffer to help or get him involved in a new activity.

You may be tempted to let hitting and biting slide when he seems out of sorts.Hitting, slapping, and whacking things can be a part of normal toddler play and interaction with objects.

Part of their learning experiences comes through cause and effect what happens when I do this? But when it comes to hitting other kids, it's obviously not acceptable. Toddlers don't just automatically know that their hitting actions will harm someone. After all, you encourage your tot to throw a ball, swing a bat, or hit your hand in a high-five. They clap, stomp, and play patty cake. A young mind may not grasp that it is any big deal to whack a peer.

Toddlers don't typically mean to act badly or inappropriately. Knowing that can help you calmly discipline your youngster. When your child is old enough to know better it will be a more serious matter.

Often, parents are astonished when they witness their toddler hit another child. It can come out of nowhere, perhaps because the child is over-stimulated and over-excited.

hitting babies

Or, someone has something that he wants, he takes it, and does what seems to come naturally if there is resistance.

You may need to speak up and even discipline another person's child to stop the inappropriate actions if the parent isn't acknowledging there is a problem.

If you're comfortable, have a frank conversation with the parent of the child who is hitting. Consider choosing your words carefully to avoid anyone from becoming overly-defensive, and potentially ending a friendship. After all, next time it could be your own child with the behavioral issue. Having a child who hits doesn't mean that he will grow up to be violent or become a bully.

It's just your job to stop the action and properly discipline your child through loving guidance and age-appropriate communications. Get diet and wellness tips to help your kids stay healthy and happy. Child Development.


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